


Burned

by Withthebeatlesgirls



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:33:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withthebeatlesgirls/pseuds/Withthebeatlesgirls
Summary: “I burned so long and so quiet, you must have wondered if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.”— Annelyse GelmanGeorge's pov on Pattie leaving him.
Relationships: Pattie Boyd & George Harrison, Pattie Boyd/George Harrison
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Burned

_ “I burned so long and so quiet, you must have wondered if I loved you back. I did, I did, I do.” _

—  **Annelyse Gelman**

_______________

George was in his studio, he hadn’t seen Pattie all day. He normally tried to avoid her as much as he could because he couldn’t stand to see the coldness in her pretty blue eyes and it made him wonder where her tender stare had gone.

Suddenly he heard the door open and looked up to see it was Pattie. For a moment they stared at each other, she had deep bags under her eyes and was the skinniest he had ever seen her. She looked so exhausted, and her energy was off. It made him nervous. 

“We are  leading a ludicrous and hateful life,” She told him “I can’t go on like this for any longer, I am leaving tomorrow. I’m going to go to Los Angeles to stay with Jenny and Mick.”

She stood there for a second, waiting for him to say something, but he didn't. He was too shocked to say anything. She left the studio without saying anything else.

He had expected this to happen but wasn’t at all prepared. In his mind, all he could think about was the early days of their relationship and just wonder what the hell went wrong?

What would he say to her once he goes to their room? He wondered if maybe she’ll apologize for saying that and tell him she’ll be staying. He hoped that’s what she’ll do.

When he eventually went to their room he saw Pattie laying on their bed staring at the ceiling, she didn’t even give him a glance when he walked in. His heart felt so heavy as he laid down next to her, for a while he didn’t say anything. He just memorized the details of her lovely face, tried to enjoy the fact that she was next to him since it might be the last time.

His mind begged her to say something, to tell him she wasn’t leaving, but he knew she wasn’t going to say anything so he swallowed his pride and said “Don’t go.” 

She glanced at him but said nothing so he continued “I’ll make things better, I promise. We can be happy again.”

He continued studying her, he felt so vulnerable at this moment his heart was in her hands and he hated that. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath “I’m going.”

It was an expected response, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less. He wasn’t even sure if he was able to make it better, he wondered if she even loved him at all anymore. His mind went to his friend, Eric Clapton, and wondered if this is why she was leaving.

“Is this because of Clapton?” He had to ask.

She shook her head “No, it’s because of us.”

He only nodded, he wished it was because of Clapton then he could have just blamed someone else, but he knew he was the only one to blame for the fact that his marriage was completely ruined.

But still he wanted to keep pushing, he should have, he should have begged and told her he needs her so she can’t leave him, but he was so tired and they had been so unhappy for so long. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he witnessed her beautiful smile, perhaps he should just do her a favor and let her go.

“Goodnight.” He told her.

A tear rolled down her face “Goodnight George.”

For a moment he considered comforting her, but he didn’t have the strength to. He just turned away from her and it took him so long to fall asleep because all he could think about was that he drove away the woman he loved.

When he woke up in the morning he saw that Pattie wasn’t by his side anymore. He was hoping that perhaps she just got up to make breakfast and they could talk about everything, but then he saw a note on his nightstand and realized that wasn’t the case.

It said how she couldn’t bear to be in this house any longer and that she’ll be back soon to collect the rest of her things. He stared at the note for a long time, trying to process that his marriage was truly over.

He laid down on her side of the bed and realized her pillow still smells like her, it brought him both pain and comfort. 

After spending another hour in bed, thinking about how he messed up beyond repair, he decided to get up. He began to wander his mansion that felt bigger and lonelier than ever. As he walked he pondered what was the point of any of this? None of these material things had any true meaning to him, all of his fortunes he had now possessed felt irrelevant now that he’s lost the most important person in his life. 

The next few weeks were absolute hell, he no longer took comfort in Krishna instead he turned to cocaine and alcohol. He tried to see the bright side of this, perhaps he wasn’t meant for love now he could just fool around and have fun, not committing to anyone.

The thought didn’t bring to him that much peace as he wanted it to. 

It wasn’t that much later that Chris O’Dell called him and told him the news that Eric and Pattie had gotten together. He was expecting this, but the news still made him feel so empty.

“I’m happy for them.” He told her.

“Really?” She questioned.

What did she want him to say? Did she want him to cry about it over the phone? “Of course.”

She sighed “It’s just weird, I’m so used to you and Pattie together.”

“Well you know, it’s probably for the best.” 

He wasn’t sure if he believed that. They were unhappy together, but he was unhappy now as well. He wondered if he could ever be happy in this world.   
  


Over the next few weeks, he filled his time with writing and recording music, doing too much cocaine, drinking too much, and inviting girls over. Anything to distract him from his current hell, but at the end of the day, he’d always go to bed with a broken heart.

  
  


He often wondered how Pattie was doing, if she was truly happy with Eric or maybe she missed him. He wanted her to be happy, she deserved to be happy, but he still hoped that she might miss him.

On the nights where he couldn’t fall asleep, he would think about their relationship and what went wrong. He realized he hasn’t told her he loved her in so long, he decided he was going to once she came back to collect her things he’d apologize and tell her he loved her. But the more he thought about doing this the less he wanted to do it, he thought of Pattie’s face, pity filling her eyes as she tells him she no longer feels that way for him and that she was much happier with Clapton. He couldn’t take another rejection.

He was beginning to dread seeing her again, what would he even say? He decided he’ll just be polite, let her get her things, and then let her leave. He wouldn’t try to talk to her about anything.

When the day did come where she had to go collect her things he just gave her a sad smile “Hey,”

“Hi.” 

He took in the sight of her, she was glowing, looked more beautiful than he remembered. He knew at that moment she was happier with Clapton.

Before anything else was said their Siamese cat Rubpert appeared and ran to Pattie.

“Hello, Rupert!” She said sweetly as she knelt down to pet him.

He stared at them stunned, he hadn’t seen that cat around since she left “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” She asked looking up at him.

“I haven’t seen him since…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence. She knew what he was talking about so she didn’t push it.

“Well, I better get my things.” She told him, and he nodded. 

It felt weird to have Pattie in the house again, he wasn’t sure if he wanted her to leave as soon as possible or stay forever. He probably would be unhappy either way.

He wondered what Pattie and Eric were like as a couple, he knew that Eric was mad about her he never made much of an effort to hide that much to George’s dismay but he also knew Eric was a bit of a mess. She seemed happy, but he still worried if Clapton could truly take care of her.

She came back with a packed bag “Alright, I got my stuff. It was nice seeing you again.”

He nodded and gave her a small smile “It was nice seeing you too.”

Then she headed towards the door, but without thinking, he said “Pattie wait,”

She turned around, tilting her head in confusion “Yes?”

What was he doing? Why did he say that? For a second he considered saying the words ‘I love you’ but he decided not to, he was going to say something else but perhaps what he was going to say would hold the same meaning “I just want you to know that if things don’t work out with you and Clapton then, well, you can always come back to me and I’ll-” he felt a lump in his throat as he spoke, “I’ll take care of you.” 

“Thank you,” she says as tears fill her eyes, before he can say anything else she hugs him.

It takes a moment for him to respond back and hold her, he slowly wraps his arms around her realizing he hadn’t remembered the last time he held her like this. 

She was about to pull away but he held her tighter, he wasn’t ready to let go. He wanted to savor the moment because he knew he’d never hold her like this again. 

When they eventually did pull away from each other his heart broke at the sad expression on her face. He wondered if she wasn’t prepared to let go either.

“I wish you both all the happiness in the world.” He told her and he truly meant it. 

“Thank you, thank you for everything.” Tears began to fall from her face and he gently brushed them away with his thumb.

At this moment he knew that he’d always love her, maybe not in the same way as before, but he had learned so much from her, he grew up spirituality with her, their connection could never die. He’ll always look after her, his first love.

“It’s ok my dear,” He comforted her “Now go be with him.”

She stopped crying, gave him one last look that expressed love and appreciation then left him.

For once he felt peace within himself, he had gotten closure and realized now it is time to move on with his life. He would find a way to put himself together again.

He remembered he had to call Dark Horse records given he was supposed to plan for his tour. When he called he heard the voice of a woman, it was a lovely voice.

“May I ask to whom am I speaking?” He asks.

“Olivia Arias.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write a fic about this for awhile and now I have lol I hope I did okay. Thanks for reading!


End file.
